I just am and You just are

This kind of thing is just never being planned. I never wanted this. Because I knew, I knew the feeling of being hopeless. Not knowing what to do. But at the same time going through all these feelings and layers of emotion that makes me want to just crawl and shut out the world. I never knew how to handle this particular emotion when you feel like you just need the existence of somebody because their existence alone is that matter to you. I long for your presence, your voice, and basically just you. I still can’t do a thing because everything seems just not right. A conversation seems absolutely impossible when there’s no willing participant who wants to be the first one to start it. Let alone talk about something personal to actually know each other. A simple “How are you?” turns out to be the biggest conundrum because we are that separated. We live in a completely different world. You are still contented while I am not anymore because how much I want to delve into your world.

The iridescent of emotions that I've been feeling typify the kind of emotions that you put me through. Blue, when I suddenly miss your presence even though we were never that close. Red, a burning desire when I realize that I do admire you more and more each day, Pink, a soft touch of melodic verse that always makes me smile when I think about you. Grey, when I realize you will never know and the chance of “us” to happen is slim to none. Black, when I need all these feelings to just disappear along with the gust of the wind and never come back again.

And I guess for the time being, I have to just be happy to admire you from afar. Be glad that I can write out my feelings in here instead of mourning because I can’t seem to find the courage to actually show it. I’m here. You’re there. I’m the daisy and you’re the bumblebee that sucked all of the nectar in me and just go without anything left. You live in a bubble of summery season with all the flowers blossoms and the sound of mockingjay sings. While I live in a cold gloomy December with the heavy downpour and the sound of drizzle trickles into earth also with all those dark clouds always hides the sunlight.

I just am and you just are.

Tata.

(image: weheartit)